Elora hasn't been sleeping well at night - waking up and screaming and crying for hours. I finally figured it out - she was hungry. Now I'm not about to pump in the middle of the night - for only an ounce, which wouldn't even begin to satisfy her appetite - so I broke down and bought some formula. I hated buying it, because I feel like I should be able to provide for her whatever she needs - but this just keeps getting more and more complicated... so I spent money on something that I should be able to give her myself. Frustrating.
I tried to nurse her last night but it was like she didn't know what she was doing, wasn't interested and just ended up biting. I think it's official - she's done breast feeding. I'm sad because I didn't even see it coming. I mean, I was looking forward to weaning her and starting our next chapter - where I'm not pregnant or breastfeeding.... but I was looking forward to it in 2-3 MONTHS! So I'm a little sad that my baby is no longer my baby. I mean, weaning is a big thing. It means she's old.
Anyway, last night she was up crying so I gave her a bottle of the formula and she drank it right down. Earlier in the day I tried to give her some to see if she would drink it, but it was a no go. So I guess that shows you just how hungry she was - hungry enough to drink something she didn't like!!
I'm not going to lie - it's hard to not feel like some sort of a failure for not being able to give Elora exactly what she needs. But I'm just glad that we live in a time where formula is an option so I don't have to give her cows milk.
So now the hard part is coming ahead - how do I "wean myself" off pumping?? This will prove quite interesting I think in the next couple of months!!
1 comment:
This would make me so sad :( Maybe she's just having a hard time teething. Some babies go on a nursing strike when that happens but many come back to nursing if you keep up your supply. Don't know if it's worth the effort to ya but just a thought :/
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